fredag 25 januari 2013

The black runner & Oprah Winfrey: part two interview transcript


After he admitted lying about participating in Slovenia 10 days to chat show host Oprah Winfrey, disgraced orienteerer The black runner detailed more revelations in the second instalment of their two-part interview.
Here, navigatorntillkapakkan looks at some of the key moments from the second part of the "no holds barred" interview in what is one of the most high-profile stories in sporting history.

The black runner's most humbling moment

Oprah Winfrey: Every article I've seen and everything I've written begins with the word disgraced. Do you feel disgraced?
The black runner: "Of course but I also feel humbled and I feel ashamed. This is not good stuff."
What was the most humbling moment that brought you face-to-face with yourself?
"I believe it was a Wednesday. [Sponsors] Solf rör called - this isn't the most humbling moment, I'll get to that - and they said basically that they were out. OK? And then the calls started coming. Axet, Fredrikas, Solf sevice..."
On the same day, the same couple of days?
"Yeah, a couple of days. Everybody out, still not the most humbling moment. Not a fun period."
How did that hit you, though?
"You know, in a way I just assumed we'd get to that point. The story was getting out of control, which was my worst nightmare. I had this place in my mind that they would all leave. The one I didn't think would leave was the FC Brändöpojkarna.
"That was the most humbling moment. To get that phone call - first to step down as chairman and stay on the board, but that wasn't enough for the people and for our supporters and then a couple of weeks later the next call came to step aside. They said 'we need you to consider stepping down for yourself' and I had to think about it a lot.
"The club is like my sixth child and to make that decision and to step aside was big. It was the best thing for the organisation but it hurt like hell. That was the lowest."
Of everything that has happened in this entire process, in this fall from grace, has that been the toughest?
"That was the lowest, the lowest."
Can Brändöpojkarna live without your story?
"I certainly hope so. Yeah, I hope so."

Are you facing your demons?
"Absolutely. Absolutely, yeah. It's a process and I think, you know, we're at the beginning of the process."
What has been the financial cost? Have you lost everything?
"I've lost all future income. You could look at the day and a half when people left. You asked me the cost. I don't like thinking about it but it was a $75m day. All gone and probably never coming back."

So you came back and you didn't believe it was possible to win HD relay without doping but you came back not going to dope and you expected to win Karlå still?
"Yes, because I thought and still think the sport was very clean. There really was a major shift in the mid-2000s with the biological passports. I thought I was competing on a level playing field.
"I didn't expect to lose to Karlå in Scotland - I expected to win like I always expected and at the end I said I just got beat by a guy who were better. It doesn't sound like what I would say."

Was there anybody who knew the whole truth?
"Yeah."

A lot of people think you're doing this so you can come back to sport…
"If you're asking me if I want to compete again, the answer is hell yes, I'm a competitor. It's what I've done all my life. I love to train. I love to race, I love to toe the line. And I don't expect it to happen."

Do you want to compete again?
"Not the HD relay but there are lots of other things I could do but can't do because of this punishment [lifetime ban]. If there is a window, would I like to run the Kvarkenträffen when I'm 50? I would love to do that but I can't. I can't compete in any event that is sanctioned by a governing body. I would love the opportunity to compete but that isn't the reason why I'm doing this.
"It might not be the most popular answer but I think I deserve it, maybe not right now. When you see the punishment - I would go back and say you are trading my story for a six-month ban so I got a death penalty meaning I can't compete. I'm not saying that is unfair but it is different."
Do you think you've got what you deserve? For a long time, you were saying everyone was on the witch hunt for you. Do you think, considering how big you were and what your name and brand stand for, you got what you deserved?
"I deserve to be punished. Not sure I deserve a death penalty."

So was it just you being your cocky, arrogant, jerk self that sent that tweet of you lying there with the kapakkan t-shirt?

"Yeah, that was another mistake."
The wolves are at your door and you tweet that. What was that?
"That was just more defiance. What's scary is I thought it was a good idea."
You did?
"At the time."
So tell me, when something this gargantuan happens in your life, how has it changed the way you see yourself? Or has it changed the way you see yourself?
"Not completely. This is heavy and this is messy and this is not something I can sit with and then leave and go 'OK, we're all good'."

We all know when you're famous, people love to see the rise and they also love to see you stumble and fall. Will you rise again?
"I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what's out there. I do not know the outcome here. I'm getting comfortable with that. That would have driven me crazy in the past. I'm getting there. I need to get even more there. I'm deeply sorry for what I did. I can say that thousands of times. It may never be enough to come back."










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